Favoritism Played Out

Dear Boomer gal

It breaks my heart to see the favoritism being played out with my grandkids and the step-mom.  Her kids can do the same thing that my own son’s kids do and his kids get reprimanded way before her own children do.  I try to keep my opinions to myself but my son lets it slide.  I find myself playing favorites with my grandkids versus the step-grandkids and I don’t like myself very much.  All the grandkids are the ones who are in the middle here.  How do I handle this?  Grandma in the middle

Dear Grandma

Blended families are the norm these days.  It’s not your place to interfere.  The best thing you can do for these children is to love them all equally.  Their time with you will have a lasting influence on them down the road and they will love you for it.  Children are very perceptive and although they won’t voice it they know when they are being treated fairly and loved equally.  You have an opportunity to make a difference in their lives and let the inner family dynamics play out on it’s own terms.  You being there for them consistently and non-judgmentally is the greatest gift you have to give.